I cried for two whole years, going to Redeemer. I kept going. I began to hear the word, and I think that the turning point for me was, “This thing you’re feeling down inside of you, that you can’t get to, has a name, and that name is sin.”
Because we are beings created to derive our identity from God, the most important aspect in the practice of self-reflection is understanding our stories within the context of God’s story.
Things change. Life changes. Organizations change. I’m happy to announce one of the better changes of 2023. On January 1, 2023, Gospel in Life changed parent organizations, moving from being part of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, to being part of Redeemer City to City.
Someone at the local small church told me I was the lamb of God. I wanted to believe that, and I kept a toy and a blanket that had lambs on them most of my childhood. When we moved back east, my horrible life went from bad to hellacious. I honestly don’t remember when the sexual abuse started, but I remember it as the beginning of my confusing childhood made up of physical, sexual and emotional abuse.
As I began to go into shock, I heard a shot close by and felt a body collapse on top of me. Blood ran over me, and I tried to crawl out from underneath it. When I got free, I looked back and could see it was an old man who the police had killed. Then I passed out. When word of the violence spread, my relatives raced to every clinic and hospital searching for me (Xolani had made it out ok). They couldn’t find me, and assumed I’d been killed.
I wanted to say thank you for releasing “Questioning Christianity” as a podcast. It has been a very long road to finally “understanding” Christianity and by long, I mean 16 years of deeply pondering these claims. That finally happened last week once I got through this podcast.
“No” she said, “you don’t understand.” She was right, as always. I did not understand grace. And then in the space of maybe a minute or so G launched into this exposition of God’s promise of forgiveness in the Bible. I don’t remember exactly what words she chose, but I know she said that God loved me and that all I had ever done and even all that I might continue to do that was wrong, it could all be forgiven.
Little did I know that, all along, God had been actively pursuing me and calling me to Himself. That book of yours helped me to grasp who Jesus really is, what He really did, and what it actually meant for me. I came to realize that there was not only a different God out there than I had constructed for myself, but that there was also plenty of good evidence to consider the claims of Christianity as sound.
We pulled up to the emergency entrance after days of vomiting while my blood pressure took a nose-dive. I tested positive, resulting in instant banishment into a quarantined room. I pulled out the computer from my backpack and spent three hours asking individuals, community groups, and church prayer lines to pray for me.
On May 3rd, we will begin a new special Podcast series — Questioning Christianity with Tim Keller — specifically designed for people who are exploring Christianity, but don’t yet have a personal faith in Christ.